Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Crazy Old Lady-in-Waiting?


Everyone says they hate the tag. I like it. It reminds me of my childhood violin teacher, Miss Genin, a tiny old lady with crepe paper skin, living in a house full of antiques,
with round spectacles on a chain round her neck and a tissue tucked up her sleeve. Maybe that set the tone for my future – I remember thinking “I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

Many years ago, I stopped dating and gave up on relationships. Aside from the odd times when I could really use a partner, e.g. when I’m too sick to fetch medicine from the pharmacy, I’m moving heavy furniture, or I’m cold in bed in winter etc, it’s never been much of an issue. Sure, I’ve always been a little apprehensive about being single for life, but having a family was something I saw as a distant plan. Now the kids thing is looming. Like Rachel said in Friends on her thirtieth birthday, you have to meet a guy, get to know them, spend quality couple time together before getting engaged, then married a year or two to enjoy each other before children…it’s okay for men. As long as they can aim and fire, they’re okay.

Winter brings a multitude of colds, flus and viruses. I must have caught one, because the other morning, I woke up, dying to use the bathroom, sat down, went dizzy, fell off the toilet and hit my head on the duck board as I blacked out. As I touched my swollen brow, it got me thinking.

I. Might. Die. Alone. Will my cats delightedly dine on my corpse? Will my body empty itself of fluids and seep through the floor, to the apartment below? Just how long will it take for my family to realise something’s up anyway?

Mostly, it’s fun being single. I never had to grow up, because there’s never been anyone else’s age-appropriate behaviour to fall in line with. I can party hard, sleep late, heck, I can stay in my PJs all day, should I choose (and I often do). I’ve passed the stage when relatives enquire about my love life. At first, it was: “So, are you courting?” then it moved on to: “Have you met a nice man yet?” Now we’re at the resigned silent stage and they ask my younger cousins about their love lives instead. I don’t know whether to be relieved or put out. They’ve consigned me to the mad old cat lady pile already, and I don’t have my bus pass yet.

When I was younger, I missed out on many gigs, because I didn’t want to go alone. Now I’ve bitten the bullet, I’ve seen all my favourite bands, in countries I never would have visited before. I just have to make sure I write it all down, so I don’t forget the best bits a companion might remember. And I never have to consider someone sitting up late at night, worrying about my whereabouts, while I’m painting the town red. When rock bands invite me on the tour bus, I go!

However, the crisis is creeping up on me and I’m considering the benefits of having a partner and children. At least one of them has to look after me when I’m old and infirm, right? As long as they don’t put me in a residential home - but that can be fixed by warning them that if they do, they get nothing in my will. I’ve thought it through.

But being the cool, crazy aunt isn’t so bad. I’ll get to play with the babies and give them back when they start wailing. I shall embrace my singleness and be as deranged as I please. Give me my pearls, and hand me my leather. I’m off for another adventure.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Query writing and a new novel in the works

I'm scared to stop writing, in case I get blocked again. Also, and mainly, because if I stop writing now, Swallow may be consigned to a virtual desk drawer and be a fading dream. I started writing it (under the title Wolf Moon) around 6 yrs ago, and I'm not waiting any longer to get an agent! Anyhoo, while ideas for a query are percolating in my exhausted brain, I started another book, which is tentatively called Headliner.

I'm not sure about Jessica, I think I'm going to make her meaner and more selfish. You'll all know how your characters determine themselves! I've included my original pitch for Swallow, too, as Headliner is a semi-sequel, so I can show how they are linked (click titles to go to the books on Authonomy). I'm working on a new version later today.

Swallow by Ilyria Moon

The rules are simple in the entertainment industry. Play the game, get burned.

Wolf Taylor. Talented, arrogant and lacking in morals. All that matters is performing onstage, nailing his next conquest and getting his next fix. He'll do anything for fame, even if it means hurting those who care about him. It’s all about rock ‘n’ roll, right?

Luna Halliwell. Hurt, naive and hopeful. It isn’t a wise move for an emotionally-unstable, anorexic teen to fall in love with a narcissistic rock star in rehab.

Secrets and lies are uncovered along the journey of a young woman dropped into the wild
celebrity jungle.


Headliner by Ilyria Moon

Everyone wants a piece of the action, but the spotlight can be lethal.

'Sapphic' sunk without trace while the lead singer, Wolf Taylor, recuperated from an accident. Now he wants the fame and his wife back. He doesn't bank on a love child landing on his doorstep, and a minx enthralling him. Can Wolf get the dream he desires, and win over the fans?

Jessica is a small-town girl with a dream in her heart and a chip on her shoulder. She heads for bright city lights, and is enticed into LA’s murky sex industry. She needs cash, and fast. To what lengths will she go, to survive?

Summer Knowles wants to be bigger than Jenna Jameson. Feisty and fun, yet wary as a fox, she has fought porcelain-veneered tooth and acrylic nail to get ahead. Clawing her way from the bottom to the top, Summer will do anything to protect her success. That is, if her stalker doesn’t catch up with her first.

Lexie Hunter is on the run. After spending a year in South America, she figures she can live in the US without fear of arrest. Los Angeles seems as good a place as any. But should she trust the criminal mastermind enabling her continuing freedom?


Sample chapters of Headliner are on Authonomy. The full Swallow manuscript is there also, for the time being.

And here's the cover for Swallow. I haven't worked on one for Headliner yet, in case I change the title. The title from Swallow came when I was three-quarters into the book, so I shall be prudent.

Ilyria Moon x


Tuesday, 1 December 2009


I finished my manuscript today. Kinda. I still need to edit and polish and strain through a sieve, but the actual storyline is all down on 'paper', woohoo!

I thought I would feel elated beyond belief when I finally reached this point, but I just feel exhausted. I'm eager to start editing now, but I have to attend to other matters for a change, like debts and looking for a job. I sacrificed having money, in order to finish my book by the end of December, and I beat my deadline by 4 weeks, so I'm pleased about that. If I can get a tight edit done by New Year, I'll be a happy bunny.

It's almost three am; I finally ate today around half an hour ago, when my stomach was gnawing so badly, I thought I might DIE. A male friend said I looked like I've lost weight, the other day. I told him I've been working on my book. I don't think he made the connection, hehe.

So, anyhoo, I'm saving the champagne for when it's edited. Or maybe when I get a copy printed out. It's going to take a lot of ink.